Once Upon A Time Recap: The Heart of the Truest Believer

Well, dearies, the long wait is over and Once Upon A Time Season 3 has jumped into the portal and has landed in our TV screens! Storybrooke has been left behind as the most dysfunctional Fairy Tale family sets sail for dangerous shores in order to rescue the one thing they all have in common: Henry.

The story picks up right where we left off. Charming, Snow, Emma, Hook, and Rumpelstiltskin are aboard the Jolly Roger and sailing towards a strange and mysterious island.

No, not that one.

But there is a distinct lack of "jolly" on the Roger for our heroes...and....villains....and....anti-hero....Almost from the start they begin bickering about the best way to rescue Henry. Emma even goes so far as to question the optimism and experience of her parents. But, not to worry, because Grandpa Rumpel has decided to take matters into his own hands. What's more, he's brought the proper attire.

All magic may come with a price, but I got these half off at Men's Wearhouse.

Meanwhile, late Season 2 baddies Greg and Tamara arrive ashore, shoving Henry along as they make their way to the Home Office. But nothing seems to go according to plan, starting with their communicator's batteries turning to sand and ending with a confrontation in the jungle with a creepy group of natives who want to take the boy, who has been deemed special by their leader.

Closer, but still no.

Things go south quickly for the duo on a mission to destroy magic. As it turns out, Neverland is the Home Office and the Pan himself has used the magically-slighted Greg and Tamara to abduct Henry and bring him to the island. The Lost Boys (who, if they had their own Facebook game app it would be called Creepville) demand that they hand over Henry, and when Greg refuses he meets his end at the hands of a dark, shadowy, evil spirit.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Tamara is injured by what doctors call a "freaking arrow to the back", but Henry manages to escape. He is aided by a former Lost Boy who is eager to avoid the wrath of his former colleagues. They make off towards the Cave of Echoes, a place where Pan's soldiers cannot track them. Meanwhile, back on the boat, Hook and Emma bond over their shared connection to Neal/Baelfire, unaware that at that moment the Son of Stiltskin wakes up in the Land That Was. And the first face he sees is that of...

Heyyyy.....Mulan's back everybody....greeaaaatt.....

Baelfire then recruits Mulan, Aurora, and Prince Philip in his quest to get back to Emma and the others. Meanwhile, the extended Charming family are all on the boat, lounging on the Lido deck sipping Mai Thais and playing shuffleboard.

Nah, I'm just kidding. They're getting attacked by mermaids.

As the storm rages around them, the ship is buffeted by both waves and fins as the sirens shriek and ram into the side of the Jolly Roger. Charming utilizes the firepower of the ships cannons and Regina uses the power of fire from her hands to ward off the sea-devils. It was like shooting fish in a barrel...except it was hurling magic fireballs at mythical creatures in an enchanted ocean. Luckily, they are able to capture one of the mermaids using a big ol' net.

"Wait, is that ship of protesters from PETA or the ACLU?"

Back on the mainland, Rumpel stumbles upon a wounded Tamara, who reveals why Henry was brought to Neverland. Mr. Gold shows compassion in removing the arrow from her body, allowing her to spill the beans and ask for forgiveness. The answer, certainly and deliciously, is no. Tamara pays for her crimes against the family by having her heart crushed into dust.

While Tamara's heart is getting the ol' Rumpel Crumble, the crew aboard the Jolly Roger is getting a lesson in group dynamics as they decide what to do with the captured mermaid. As the mermaid writhed and wiggled (and boy did she do both!) the team could not decide if they should use her as leverage or if they should kill her on the spot. The mermaid (who, let's face it, is Ariel), tells them that they will wind up killing themselves...and boy was she right. Regina takes action and temporarily turns the mermaid to wood...and that's when the crew reaches the "storming" stage of group dynamics....literally. As Charming fights Hook and Regina and Snow have it out, the winds pick up, the rain howls, and the mother of all tidal waves descends upon the ship.

Meanwhile, Neal, Aurora, Philip and (sigh) Mulan arrive at Rumpelstiltskin's castle in the hopes of finding something that will lead him back to his family. They are greeted, however, by a squatter who just happens to be Robin Hood.

"The rent in the Enchanted Forest is too damn high!"

As the Jolly Rogers and Rogerettes duke it out, Emma realizes that the mermaids words were coming true, that they were making to storm worse with their anger. She realizes that they need to be reunited, and fast, and so she dives into the watery depths.

Man, water-skiing in Neverland is extreme

The plan goes a little awry as she is knocked unconscious by a piece of the ship, but it does work. The rest of the team stop fighting long enough to save her, and the storm abates.

Meanwhile, Henry and his newfound friend are still on the run from the Lost Boys but run out of space quickly as they reach a cliff. The boy has pixie dust, but he doesn't believe that it will work. And this is where, for the first time, Henry really comes into his own. Displaying the optimism and belief that helped his mother break the Curse, Henry uses the pixie dust to send him and his friend soaring through the air. I have to say, I'm not the biggest Henry fan (see most of my Season 2 posts), but he really stepped up and displayed not just childlike belief, but also leadership, courage, and optimism. I hope they continue to develop his character into this series' "Man of Faith".

Don Corleone would tell you not to play around with orange peels in your mouth.

Elsewhere on the island that Seuss forgot, the Dark One comes face to face with the Creepy One as the head Lost Boy offers Rumpel a deal. Stay out of Pan's way, let him have Henry, and his life will be spared. Well, Grandpa ain't havin' that and he promptly rejects the deal. As a parting gift, Blondie leaves behind a doll that presumably belonged to Baelfire. Rumpel is overcome with grief for the son that he believes is dead, and is left to weep in the woods. I really enjoyed this scene. Whoever this kid is playing the lead Lost Boy, he's doing a fantastic job in giving me the wiggins (yep, I've been watching too much Buffy). And watching Mr. Gold act as his old self while sticking up for his family and grieving for his son shows just how far the character has come. At least he is fighting for someone other than himself, but he's still got that Dark One flair

Haters Gonna Hate.....then I turn them into a frog.

But Bae is very much alive. Using his father's old walking stick, Neal makes like Donatello and shows off some moves which removes a cloaking spell on a cabinet containing Rumpel's secret stash. Neal grabs an orb and, after focusing on Emma, finds her in what Aurora and Mulan believe to be their land. But Baelfire knows, much to his terror, that she is in Neverland.

As the Jolly Roger crew comes ashore, Emma takes full command of the group. Heroes, villains, pirates, and Saviors, all of them will need to work together to get Henry back. And nothing is going to stop them.

And nothing better, because as it turns out Henry's friend isn't really a friend at all. He IS the Pan.

BANGRARA-ooooh crap!

I have to say, after a lull in Season 2 I was starting to think that maybe we had seen the end of the great stories that had made Season 1 such a smash hit. But the show has really upped the ante on this one. First, we are introduced to Neverland and Peter Pan in a way that is so far from what we know, we can only wait to see what happens next. We also are introduced to what I think Season 2 lacked, an over-arching theme. This season, it is "belief" that will permeate each episode...belief in magic, family, and oneself. I really can't wait to see just how this season unfolds and how, if ever, our favorite characters get back to where they belong.

No! No! No!

Once Upon A Time Recap: And Straight on 'Til Morning

Well dearies, we've made it to the season finale! From the aftermath of the broken Curse and an adventure in the Land that Was, to the threat of a new and powerful evil, to the reuniting of family and a plot to destroy Storybrooke, we've been through a lot! So let's get to it:

The episode begins with a loving Grandpa watching his Grandson play on a swing. Except it's Rumplestiltskin, and he's trying to kill the threat to his existence. As he begins to fray the ropes of Henry's swing, causing him to fly into some pointy-looking rocks (seriously, who designed this playground?), Emma, Charming, and Snow rush to tell him the news about Baelfire. They also tell him about that Greg and Tamara have the trigger, and he must help stop them. Gold refuses, distraught over losing his son again. Meanwhile, Greg and Tamara take Hook down to the mines and, with a dwarf's pick-axe, strike the trigger to the fail-safe and set in motion the end of Storybrooke, literally wiping it off the map. The forest on which it appeared begins to take back the land as trees jut out of the ground and the earth begins to shake.

"Time to run, then? Yep...let's run..."

The Family Charming, including Regina, are at the apartment when Hook shows up to tell them the news. But not everyone will share in Storybrooke's fate. Because Henry was born here, he will remain here....alone. It is decided that they will take a two-pronged approach: Regina will try to stop the trigger, and Hook and Charming will go after Greg and Tamara in order to get some magic beans as a means to escape destruction. The dashing duo manage to succeed in obtaining a bean, but the Muggle Patrol manage to slip away yet again.

Anyone else see a buddy cop spin-off coming out of this? 

Meanwhile, knowing that their doom is imminent, the dwarves raid Gold's shop in order to find a potion to restore Sneezy's memory so that he can at least die as himself. When they finally are able to get a batch, they offer some extra to Mr. Gold, who restores Belle's memory so that, in their last moments, they can be together. Even knowing that Belle would eventually get her memory back, hearing Gold say "I didn't want to wake you up to die..." just tugged at all of my heart strings.

In Neverland, Hook discovers that the boy brought on board his ship is actually Rumplestiltskin's son, and decides to use him to enact his revenge. When the Lost Ones (a very dark take on Peter Pan's band of misfits) board the ship demanding the boy that the Shadow has great need of, Hook will not give Baelfire up (even under threat of having his shadow ripped out...ouch). After they leave, Baelfire tries to kill Hook, having found a picture of his mother on Hook's desk (proving even then that you need to delete your search history and not leave things open on your desk). Hook tries to tell Bae about what really happened, that he and his mother fell in love...and that his father killed her. Hook offer Bae the opportunity to stay with him and his crew, as a way to make it up to Mila, but the Son of Stiltskin refuses. It is then that he is captured by the Lost Ones. I have to say, not calling them "boys" makes them truly seem like lost souls in the service of a dark, great evil. And it definitely makes them more threatening. 

Back in the tunnels, things are not going so well. Regina does not have the power to stop the trigger from detonating. When Emma goes to pull out the bean, hoping to send the failsafe into oblivion (or at least a dimension in which it can do no harm), she discovers that Hook has absconded with their only hope at survival. No bean, assured destruction, and no way to stop it.....well, it looks like it's sayonara, Storybrooke.

"Not one of my better backup plans..."

Emma is hesitant to leave Regina, but her arch-rival pleads with her. She has been known for so long as the Evil Queen, she just wants to die as Regina. Henry realizes that there's good left in his mom and finally (oh, finally!) he goes over and hugs her. It's then that Emma realizes that she might be able to help. Nubile as she is in the magical arts, she has seen for herself that she has the potential to be quite powerful. And so, together, in the best Mother's Day salute ever, Emma and Regina combine their strengths and defuse the bomb. They are blown back a bit, but a few scrapes serve as confirmation that they are, indeed alive. Yes: Prince Charming, Snow White, their daughter, and even the Evil Queen are all okay. And Henry...Henry? Ahhhh, crap.

Greg and Tamara, seizing upon the distraction caused by the trigger, abduct Henry and bring him back to the docks. As all the main cast members rush to save him, the two villains prove "like father, like son" as they drop a magic bean into the water and jump, arm in arm with their captive, into the portal. Since it is pretty much impossible to cross worlds without one, they must come to terms with the fact they they will never see Henry again. But, ahoy mateys! Captain Hook has a change of heart and sails back into port, magic bean in hand! Mr. Gold knows that, indeed, the boy will be his undoing, but he must find him to honor Baelfire. He bids Belle farewell, and together, the most unlikely family sets off for Neverland.

Neverland....as in "never gonna go to that land"

As the waves crash on a distant shore, we come across a man in bad shape. Clinging to life, Baelfire is discovered by none other than Princess Aurora and (ugh) Mulan. But he is worlds apart from where he needs to be in order to protect his son. Because Peter Pan never wanted him....he was after Henry.

Well, then! I have to admit I was a little underwhelmed when I watched it last night, but going over it again really made me appreciate the subtleties of the episode and how it sets up an exciting Season 3. 

Til' then, dearies!

- Joe

Once Upon A Time Recap: Second Star to the Right

Tons of secrets were revealed, and new mysteries surfaced, in last night's episode of Once Upon A Time, "Second Star to the Right." From a boy who knew all too well the price of magic, to the true ambitions of two outsiders, to the unthinkable plot by a too-often slighted queen. The penultimate episode of the season was, as expected, one giant build up to the finale.

Let's start with Baelfire, shall we? We had long suspected him of being Peter Pan (that is, after we learned that Greg Mendell wasn't!), so seeing him dropped from the portal into Victorian London definitely set the Anticipation Alarm off. We see him in a short confrontation with the Darling's dog, Nana (a great nod to the classic Disney movie) before befriending Wendy, who secretly takes care of the poor boy until her parents find out...and welcome him into their home (because if upper class Victorian parents were one thing, historically, it was nice to beggar boys that their daughters have hidden away in a crawlspace).

"Harumphaphurphurphurumph"

One night, Wendy (and brothers Michael and John) tell Bae about a shadow that visits them in the night. It can do all sorts of things like change shape, fly, and take them to a land with magic! Bae, with his One Direction haircut, pleads with Wendy not to let the shadow in, because he knows from experience how magic can destroy a family. I thought this was a particular bit of great acting on the part of young Dylan Schmid, who manages to show some real concern for his newfound family mixed with the pain of his past. You really believe him when he tells Wendy that magic comes with a price. One person who did not believe him, however, was Wendy.

"Woopsie?"

When she returns from Neverland, she is distraught. The shadow, it seems, is not a friendly spirit. At night, she tells Bae, she can hear all the lost boys crying out for their parents. Ultimately, the shadow rejects Wendy....because he's after the boys.

An APB has already been called in by London Metro Police.

I have to say this was a really great twist on the classic tale. To imagine Peter's shadow as a living entity, and a malevolent one at that, was pretty creepy and really brilliant. Neverland isn't some happy place, it's where abducted children are forced to spend eternity by a wraith-like being. In any case, Baelfire does his best to ward off the shadow, but to no avail. When the shadow reaches for Michael, Baelfire boldly takes his place. He is carried off to Neverland, a dark and foreboding island shrouded in mystery.

Now where have I heard that before?

But, the quick thinking Son of Stiltskin uses a match to ward off the shadow and he crashes into the ocean, where he is rescued by none other than Captain Hook. Will Baelfire rise to become the Pan, defeat the good Captain, and rescue the lost boys of Neverland? We'll just have to wait and see!

Back in Storybrooke, Neal is just a liiiittle bit upset with his dad, who has taken up some old bad habits now that he's with "Lacey". I'm not too thrilled with how this is all turning out, honestly. Rumplestiltksin created the Curse to find Baelfire, had to almost die to reunite with his son, and now is basically telling him not to crimp his style with his new lady friend. This, of course, will all get resolved in the finale, but it just seems a little forced.

"Hateth the game, noteth the player, deary!"

Meanwhile, Regina is put into a bit of an uncomfortable situation, as she is strapped down by Greg and hooked up to a machine so that she will finally reveal what happened to his father. I have to say, as much as I cringed at seeing Regina electro-tortured, Mendell really let out his evil, vindictive side and it was a fine piece of acting. It's about this time that we learn that Tamara and Greg are not the only two out there who know how to "take care of" magic and magical beings. Showing their Lost roots, the writers reveal that there is an entire organization dedicated to finding and eliminating magic from this world. Storybrooke is apparently not the first breach that has been made into our land, and the dastardly duo have discovered a way to make sure that the town will go the way of the others.

"Did I leave the oven on? No...Locked the doors? Yep....Hid away the thing that can destroy the whole town? ...ah, crap"

In an effort to locate Regina, the Charmings visit Mr. Gold, who blends Regina's and Mary Margaret's tears so that Mary Margaret can see and feel everything Regina is at the moment...which...of course...is searing pain from electrocution. They then liberate Regina, letting Greg go in the process, as Emma and Neal track down Tamara. A gunshot to the abdomen finally convinces Neal that his finacee hasn't exactly been truthful with him, and when Emma steps in to save him, Tamara uses the magic bean she pilfered from Regina to open up some distance between them...as well as a portal to another world. Emma and Neal hang on for dear life, both having been sucked into another dimension before and not eager to do so again, but this is a drama we're talking about, and someone's got to go!

"It's okay! I'm an expendable secondary character!"

The portal closes and Emma is left in shock. Having just declared their love for each other, they were ripped apart by magic. You can bet that, wherever Neal winds up, Emma will find him. After all, it's in the family genes. Back at Chateau de Charming, David and Mary Margaret are watching over a recuperating Regina. They are again (really, again?) shocked by Regina's malice as they learn that she has created, and then lost, the failsafe trigger for the Curse. Cut to a distraught Greg Mendell as he digs up the remains of his father. Tamara approaches him with a gift, a black diamond that holds the key to the final and absolute destruction of Storybrooke.

And so, we head "Straight on Til' Morning".

Til next time, dearies!

-Joe

Once Upon A Time Recap: The Evil Queen

"Are people born Wicked?" said some witch in another show, "Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" That was the theme of tonight's episode: The Evil Queen. (Uh, uh, uh! Not so fast dearies. If ye wish not to be spoiled, go no further!)

Let's begin in The Land That Was. Regina is on the hunt for Snow White, and nothing is going to stop her. She massacres an entire village because they will not give up the princess' location. When a disguised Regina returns to the site with Snow, it is deeply unsettling, and a very dark moment for this show, to see the bodies strewn on the ground, lifeless and with Wanted posters arrowed to their backs

What Regina can't wrap her mind around is how the people can be so loyal to Snow White when she is their Queen. She enlists the help of Rumplestiltskin (always a wise choice) so that she can disguise herself and go among the people. Perhaps then she will learn more about her arch-enemy's whereabouts. She is warned, though, that she will not be able to use magic or transform back without his help (which, of course, he doe not provide). When she enters a village that has strewn up an effigy of the Queen, she tries to stop them, only to be mistaken for the culprit by her own guards. She is saved, to the delight of the irony gods, by the woman she has been hunting. Snow dispatches the guards, rescues Regina, and takes her to hide in the woods where she nurses her back to health.

"Oh dear God just kill me now."

Snow tells the injured girl about the time she almost fell off a horse, and a woman saved her. As they walk through the forest, Snow White tells the "peasant girl" that she believes there is still good in Regina. Regina takes this to heart, and wonders aloud if "The Queen" were to repent and ask forgiveness, if Snow would grant it, or kill her. Snow shows the truest kindness and compassion and says that she would. That is, until they find the bodies. In a very un-Luke Skywalker-like speech, Snow realizes and declares that there's no possible hope for Regina's redemption. She is evil through and through. The cloaked Regina accidentally reveals her true self by asking about the horse incident, although in Snow's telling she never said it was Regina. Snow readies her arrow, and a powerless Regina flees. Ever the fairest, Snow lets her go.

Back in Storybrooke, Regina is planning to activate the failsafe for the Curse, one that would destroy Storybrooke and everyone in it. Using the last remaining magic bean (oh, yeah, she burned the rest of the crop), she will escape with her son back to the Land That Was and make him love her once more. Oddly, she tells Henry about her foolproof plot, only to erase his memory moments later.

"I can soooo relate."

Meanwhile, Emma bumps into Tamara at Granny's and notices something strange when she helps to pick up Tamara's spilled items. She has a list (a big list, with big print...not so stealthy, eh?) of all the names of Storybrooke's residents and their true identities. Emma begins to think that Tamara is the "She" that August was trying to warn them about before he re-youthified.

"Hi, I'll have a cup of coffee, milk, two sugars...oh, and the heads of everyone in town."

 And so, Emma and Henry renew their covert partnership, renamed Operation Praying Mantis (...oy), in order to find out exactly what she's up to. A botched reconnaissance mission at Neal's apartment leads them to a dead end. But Emma's lie detection powers are not mistaken. Tamara and Greg are up to something, and they need a helping hand in their scheme. Well...helping hook, that is.

Get it?

Regina, trying to enact her own plot, also teams up with Hook, who seems to earnestly want to renew the partnership he had with Cora. Regina leads hook to the Library and down the elevator where she recovers the failsafe. But, she needs a distraction, because a certain dragon-moprhing witch is not as dead as we thought she was.

I actually loved this idea. It shows a particularly cruel side to Regina that she would keep her most hated frenemy preserved so that she could guard Regina's most sacred treasures. First as a dragon, then as a skeleton-ghost thing. This version of Maleficent was particularly shiver-inducing. But, Hook does manage to escape, with the help of his newfound friends, Tamara and Greg. It appears that they have a bit more experience dealing with magic than we originally thought. Using the power of science, they effectively stunted Regina's powers and put one check on their list of names. They are truly coming into their own as the new villains of Season 2. I predict that they will learn about Regina's failsafe and endeavor to use it to bring about the end of magic....and the destruction of Storybooke.

That would certainly be quite a hook...ah ha..get it? A..hook....Okay I'll stop.

Overall, I think this idea of a misunderstood Regina has been played out. It worked well in the first third of the season, when she was trying to do right by Henry, and a new twist was thrown in when Cora arrived in Storybrooke, but now it's a bit tired. She needs to commit to either being good (although not necessarily accepted by the townspeople), or truly embrace the dark side. Frankly, I would like to see an anti-hero in Regina, especially up against an all-powerful Rumplestiltskin. She doesn't need to be a good guy, but she should stop playing the victim. That said, I really enjoyed seeing Regina and Rumple play off each other in this episode. Each time we see them together she is either the eager student, the defiant former pupil, or the ardent rival. But, as always, the imp seems to always have the upper hand. I also really enjoyed seeing Tamara and Greg's characters develop into a much more sinister duo than we previously thought. I am extremely eager to see how their roles play out as we enter the home stretch to the finale.

Til' next time, dearies!

- Joe

Once Upon A Time Recap: "Selfless, Brave, and True"

Ah, nothing like coming back from a nice relaxing weekend to do a bit of blogging. And nothing says "The Missing Linc" more than a OUAT recap! So let's get into this week's episode: "Selfless, Brave, and True". As always, if you don't want to be spoiled like last month's bananas, you might want to avoid this post for the time being.

It seems that, according to Kitsiss and Horowitz, there's nothing like quite Phuket to run away to whilst having an existential crisis. I'm sure there's a deleted scene where August runs into Jack Shephard.

That's Chinese for "I'm Turning Into Wood"

At 8:15 am (that's 8:15 pm Storybrooke time, when Emma first enters town and time starts to move forward again) August wakes up to discover that his leg has turned back to wood. Still not quite the hero we see him become at the end of Season 1, he tries to find a way to heal himself and is led to a man known as the Dragon. But someone else is waiting for him. It looks like Neal's fiance`, Tamara, has a past that she hasn't shared with her future husband.

"Well if you think THIS is a wild story..."

Tamara, on a mission to find magic in this world, has tracked August and tricked him into getting a vial full of magic from the Dragon. The all-knowing, mysterious healer is fully aware of who Pinocchio is and where he comes from, but Tamara kills the Dragon (with a taser that I'm guessing was set to "Sith Lighting") before we find out more about him.

Is it at all wrong that I immediately thought "Mushu from Mulan"?

After a harrowing chase through the streets of Hong Kong, Tamara absconds with the vial, leaving August to further suffer the affects of being turned back into wood. However, she's not done with him yet. Following August to New York, she discovers that there is a town called Storybrooke, and that yet another man hails from the land of magic. Using the old "oops, clumsy me!" routine, she bumps into Neal and starts a relationship with him, biding her time until she can get her hands on an entire town's worth of magic.

And that brings the Stiltskin Family Love Success Rate to.....0%.

Back in Storybrooke, Snow White needs to clear her head and goes out to shoot some arrows, one of which finds its way directly into Pinocchio's leg. He cannot face the shame of returning to Storybrooke in his wooden state, despite Snow's insistence that there are people there who care about him. A visit from Tamara, who promises him a bit of healing potion in return for his exile, causes August to turn tail and run, until he discovers that she has been lying. Before he can warn his friends, Tamara once again sets her taser to 11 and fries August to a crisp (if you listen carefully, you can hear him whimper "Don't tase me, bro!"). But fear not, August fans! Because his last act was to attempt to warn Emma and Co., he was deemed selfless, brave, and true by the Blue Fairy and turned back into a hunky, dreamy....

....Oh. Never mind.

Unable to remember what he was going to tell them, Pinocchio walks off with Geppetto and the Blue Fairy, ready to give being a good little boy one more try. Meanwhile, Greg Mendell, aka Owen, has just had an encounter with Regina who warns him not to continue his search for his father. At the end of the episode, he receives a knock at the door. And the person on the other side is none other than: HER!

Behold: HER!

So, it aaall comes out! Tamara is in league with Owen, but what are their true intentions? Are they simply out to find his father? To gain access to magic? Or maybe they're just working together to accomplish their respective goals. It looks like the biggest threat to Storybrooke didn't come from Cora, but will instead come from our world. As we enter the home stretch to the finale, we'll find out more about their true plans in just....wait....what?.... THREE WEEKS?!

"Son of a..."

'Til then, dearies!

-Joe

Once Upon A Time Review: "Welcome to Storybrooke"

Welcome back, dearies! It's time to review tonight's episode of Once Upon A Time: "Welcome To Storybrooke"

Now GTFO.

I really liked that we returned to Storybrooke B.C. (before Curse). It gave this episode a very Lost-like feel in the beginning, with a seemingly normal camping trip turning into ground zero for the newly arrived curse. It was also great seeing Regina walk through the town as it stayed stuck in time, something we hadn't seen in effect until now (remember Emma's entry into Storybrooke caused time to start moving forward again). Her delight in torturing Mary Margaret was a nice replay of their dynamic before Emma came to town. And Gold's refusal to admit he remembered everything must have been a fun trick for Rumple to play to pass the time. (I'll try not to mention Ruby's re-skankification). But Regina realized that something was missing in the day to day monotony of a town stuck in an infinite loop.

"If that groundhog shows up I swear to God..."

All she ever wanted was to be loved. She couldn't receive that from her mother, from Snow White, or from the citizens of Fairytale Land. She even had to compel Sheriff Graham to come to her bed night after night after night.

Ladies? ....Alright....and Gents?

But then, father and son duo Kurt and Owen find their way into the newly established town, and everything changes. Regina realizes that all she needs is the one person who could love her unconditionally...a child. Not being the best with the whole, ya know, "emotions" thing, she tries to keep the pair in Storybrooke in order to stay close with Owen. That ("unexpectedly") backfires, and Kurt and Owen try to flee Storybrooke, and Regina's clutches, after Kurt finds Regina talking into Graham's heart. Kurt is taken away, and Owen flees. I tell ya what, though, the scene where he brings the police to the boundary, where they can't see the sign on the other side, and vows to find his dad and Regina is on the other side of the bubble was very touching. Of course, it was then that I was really starting to suspect just who he might turn out to be...

Back in current Storybrooke, Regina is looking to get even with Snow. She wants vengeance, and a spell left by her mother looks to be the key to all of it. A quick intervention by Rumple stalls her, but a showdown is inevitable. Cut to the woods where Henry attempts to destroy magic by throwing dynamite down the well.

"Destroy magic with TNT? Oh you are just precious."

After complaining most of the show (season? series?) about the adults making adult decisions, Henry actually convinces the two sides to stand down. Regina destroys the curse, and it looks like no more blood will be spilled. Regina once again does the right thing in order to maintain her relationship with Henry. She truly shows him that he is the most important thing to her. Not power, not vengeance, but him.

And then what does that little creep do? He leaves her to go with Emma! AGAIN!

"Son of a...."

Again! Regina did the right thing...TWICE....in the same location....and the little piss ant goes running off with his other family...AGAIN! Ya know what? I'd blow them all up right then and there. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she went into a chorus of "No Good Deed" from Wicked (admit it, that would be pretty cool). But don't worry, Regina had one more surprise waiting for her that day.

This is as emo as Snow White gets.

A guilt-ridden Snow knocks on Regina's door and begs for death. Which is, frankly, kiiiinda dark for the fairest in the land. Regina refuses, for Henry's sake,but can't resist pulling the ol' Kali-Ma on her nemesis. And when she does, she finds something that makes her grin. Snow White's heart, the purest of them all, is turning black. Like a cancer it will grow until it consumes her, turns her, and destroys her family. Then, Regina notes with fiendish glee, she really can have it all. I absolutely loved the interplay between Snow and Regina. It was perfectly crafted and once again set up the oldest rivalry in the history of fairy tales. Regina retook her place as the Evil Queen, not with some grand act of evil, but with a deep malevolence borne out of the singular hatred she has for the woman who has impeded her happiness for such a long time. She didn't need to destroy Snow White, Snow White would destroy herself.

Meanwhile, resident outpatient and amateur voyeur Greg Mendell has just come from stalking Henry in the woods and is seen filming Regina and Snow's heart to heart (or heart to hand, I should say? Heh, heh. Get it? Heart to...okay I'll stop). As he gets in the car he confirms what we all suspected....he is Owen, all grown up. And it's about time he found his dad!

Who I can only imagine, much to Graham's chagrin, tried again and again to have the sheriff "arrest" him.

The preview was also pretty tantalizing. What is Neal's girlfriend (maybe Tiger Lilly) up to? Why the sly grin? And if anyone had any doubt who the man was in the trailer, let's just say he won't be telling any lies about his whereabouts. It certainly wood make the situation worse.

It's Pinocchio, is what I'm trying to say. We get to see Pinocchio again.

This was a great episode to transition into the home stretch to the season finale. And I'll be right there posting along the way. Stay tuned, dearies!

-Joe

Once Upon A Time: The Miller's Daughter Recap

Best...episode...of the season! This recap is very close to just being the word "wow" over and over again! It was so good I half expect them to go on another four week break! The writers really turned what was becoming a predictable storyline on its head, spun it around, then punted it over the fence. Tons of misdirection and suspense, as well as a few revelations, and some of the best acting of the series made this one fantastic episode.

Warning! Unless you're Rumplestiltskin and can see the future, you might want to avoid the rest of the recap. There be spoilers!

Power versus love has been a theme of the show since its inception. We've seen each character make that choice over and over again, but never has it been so on display as this episode. When it came to Cora, the choice was clear. In order to prevent the humiliation she endured at the hands of Snow's mother, she would make everyone bow to her whim. And nothing, not even true love, would stand in her way.

She could be the queen of my heart any day!

Young Cora was sublimely played by Rose McGowan. Unlike Regina, Cora never seemed to be a perfectly innocent youth who was corrupted after a devastating loss. Rather, she knew her place in the world, hated those who kept her there, and wanted nothing more than to see them suffer. But she couldn't do it alone. She needed help from someone with the power to make her darkest desires come true.

You rang, dearie?

What followed was probably one of the most deliciously evil pairings of the entire show. Rumple and Cora's romance was a match made in...well...not heaven. The scene where he teaches her to spin straw into gold using her bloodlust was played with a sensuality not often seen on the show. You could almost feel their evil souls feeding off of each other.

And, of course, I'm sure we all took in a collective gasp when Rumple amended their contract so that Cora wouldn't give him just any old first born...it would be their child! Something fans had long suspected was unfolding right before our eyes! Could Regina actually be Rumplestilskin's daughter??!!

The answer was...shockingly!....amazingly!....incredibly!..............NO!

"So here's the deal. I help you spin straw into gold, and you help me make the audience's head spin."

Cora, after ripping out her own heart (a fan hunch finally confirmed!), once again chose power over love. She had used the King for the throne, and she had used Rumple for his power. I have to say that I'm glad Regina isn't his daughter, the family tree was getting a little too twisted. It was a bold direction for the writers to take. And so, the ramifications of Cora's act would reverberate several years later, in a land far away from their own.

Back in Storybrooke, it was cool to see a dying Rumple act like a general preparing for war. Even as the poison raced to his heart, he was able to set up the defenses in his shop. Ever the teacher, he showed Emma how to properly use the magic within her, something that I'm sure will come into play as the season draws to a close. And, ever the trickster, he convinced Snow White to do something she swore she'd never do.

Watch "Red Widow"?

Ginnifer Goodwin, I think, was at her absolute best as she convinced Regina to take her mother's heart and put it back into her body. She displayed a coldness and wicked cleverness that we hadn't seen in Mary Margaret before. Again, it was another fantastic twist by the writers. I mean, it's Snow White right? She wouldn't do anything this cold-hearted? Right? She didn't even do it to save her own mother so surely she wouldn't cut Cora down to save Mr. Gold? Right??!!

And then she lit the candle, held it over the heart, and whispered the name....Cora.

"Hm...did I leave the stove on?...or....ya know, my heart unprotected?"

And in that moment the Snow we knew was gone. While she tried to prevent Regina from doing her bidding, it was too late. She had been corrupted just as Cora had planned, tricked into committing the darkest of magic by the Dark One. How this will affect her and her family going forward remains to be seen.

One thing's for sure, Regina has one hell of a reason to hate her now. She finally got the mother she always wanted, only to have been deceived into killing her. And so The Evil Queen is back and badder than ever!

Before I conclude, can we just go head and start the petition for Robert Carlyle to win every award next season? His portrayal, both as Rumplestiltskin and Mr. Gold in this episode, was absolutely incredible. As Rumple, he was every bit the devilish imp we were introduced to in the pilot. All grins and high-lilting laughs covering up an malevolence and desire to do the most evil. As Gold, we saw a man who had come to terms with the choices he had made, and wanted to make things right. His phone call to Belle was heart breaking, and his final moments with Baelfire were very touching. There was a moment where I really thought he was going to die before Cora could kill him, thus releasing the power of the Dark One forever. I grew more and more nervous with each letter that disappeared from the dagger. 

Even sadder, I think, was to see him realize that Cora truly loved him, only to have her die in front of him due to his own machinations.

"I'm so happy. Good thing matters of love always work out for me!"

Well, dearies, this was really my favorite episode of the season and I cannot wait to see how it all plays out! What did you think? What can possibly happen next now that the story we thought we knew has been chucked out?

Til' next time!

-Joe