Once Upon A Time Recap: Lacey

Well hello again, dearies! I feel like it's been forever since our last OUAT recap. It's almost like stepping over the Storybrooke line, the mind resets and you kind of forget what's been happening. So here's where we stood coming in: Greg/Owen and Tamara have been revealed as cohorts in a plot to find his dad and, perhaps, reveal Storybrooke to the world. Pinocchio, for his bravery, has been turned into a little boy, but not before warning Emma and Co that danger is lurking right around the corner.

Now, back to last night. The show opens with another weird dream sequence. It's Henry's birthday and Grandpa Gold allows him to pick anything he wants in the shop. Henry chooses a wand (a weird choice for the kid who rags on magic all the time), and Gold uses it to turn him to porcelain and smashes him to bits (thus fulfilling a whole lot of fan fantasies).

I would have been happy if he just pushed his head into the cake...

Clearly he is still worried about the prophecy that Henry will be his undoing. But, back in the Land That Was, Rumplestilskin is preoccupied by someone else. You know me, I'm a big RumpBelle fan, so it was great to see more of their story unfold. We all know the Dark One is pretty bad, but something about him gleefully preparing to skin Robin Hood alive was a bit unnerving.

Who's merry now?

Belle, of course, appeals the the good in him and Rumple decides not to kill the would-be-thief. As it turns out, he only wanted the wand in order to heal a pregnant and dying Maid Marion. You could really feel that his heart was changing, especially when he gave her the pillow (to "muffle her crying") and showed her the library ("just another room to dust"). The scene where he takes the Sheriff of Nottingham's tongue for calling Belle a wench? Well....baby steps, I guess.

Back in Storybrooke, Regina is furious that no one told her about Neal being Henry's father. She decides to take it out on Mr. Gold by giving Belle her Cursed memories, giving her a new life as "Lacey". Lacey is, as much as you can be on this show, a party girl who doesn't really care about Mr. Gold or this "Belle" he keeps insisting she is. She prefers to hang out at the hitherto unknown "The Rabbit Hole".

Because nothing says "bad girl" like exposed shoulders and shooting pool.

Who knew Storybooke had a nightlife? And that there was an alternative to going to Granny's?! In any case, Belle was just starting to accept that Rumple cared for her and that he was a part of her life before she lost her memory, so the turn from princess to bad girl hit Gold pretty hard. That is...until he had another run-in with the Storybrooke version of the Sheriff, and hit him even harder. It turns out Lacey likes the bad boys, and this might just be Rumple's way to have his cake and eat it too. To keep his true love while fully embracing his dark side.

Embracing her dark side costs $40 an hour.

Meanwhile, Regina is suspicious about where Charming, Anton (hey, Hurley's back!), and the Dwarves are going every day. So, as they pull into the Rabbit Hole for a few brewskies (because now that we know it exists, of course everyone goes there!), she uses a really cool new power to trace the tire tracks back to the bean farm right at the edge of town. Will she burn the crop to keep her enemies trapped in Storybrooke? Or will she use the beans to transport herself out and start a new life?

Oh, and looky looky, Greg and Tamara have a Hooky!

Til' next time (hopefully not 6 weeks) dearies!
- Joe

Once Upon A Time Review: "Welcome to Storybrooke"

Welcome back, dearies! It's time to review tonight's episode of Once Upon A Time: "Welcome To Storybrooke"

Now GTFO.

I really liked that we returned to Storybrooke B.C. (before Curse). It gave this episode a very Lost-like feel in the beginning, with a seemingly normal camping trip turning into ground zero for the newly arrived curse. It was also great seeing Regina walk through the town as it stayed stuck in time, something we hadn't seen in effect until now (remember Emma's entry into Storybrooke caused time to start moving forward again). Her delight in torturing Mary Margaret was a nice replay of their dynamic before Emma came to town. And Gold's refusal to admit he remembered everything must have been a fun trick for Rumple to play to pass the time. (I'll try not to mention Ruby's re-skankification). But Regina realized that something was missing in the day to day monotony of a town stuck in an infinite loop.

"If that groundhog shows up I swear to God..."

All she ever wanted was to be loved. She couldn't receive that from her mother, from Snow White, or from the citizens of Fairytale Land. She even had to compel Sheriff Graham to come to her bed night after night after night.

Ladies? ....Alright....and Gents?

But then, father and son duo Kurt and Owen find their way into the newly established town, and everything changes. Regina realizes that all she needs is the one person who could love her unconditionally...a child. Not being the best with the whole, ya know, "emotions" thing, she tries to keep the pair in Storybrooke in order to stay close with Owen. That ("unexpectedly") backfires, and Kurt and Owen try to flee Storybrooke, and Regina's clutches, after Kurt finds Regina talking into Graham's heart. Kurt is taken away, and Owen flees. I tell ya what, though, the scene where he brings the police to the boundary, where they can't see the sign on the other side, and vows to find his dad and Regina is on the other side of the bubble was very touching. Of course, it was then that I was really starting to suspect just who he might turn out to be...

Back in current Storybrooke, Regina is looking to get even with Snow. She wants vengeance, and a spell left by her mother looks to be the key to all of it. A quick intervention by Rumple stalls her, but a showdown is inevitable. Cut to the woods where Henry attempts to destroy magic by throwing dynamite down the well.

"Destroy magic with TNT? Oh you are just precious."

After complaining most of the show (season? series?) about the adults making adult decisions, Henry actually convinces the two sides to stand down. Regina destroys the curse, and it looks like no more blood will be spilled. Regina once again does the right thing in order to maintain her relationship with Henry. She truly shows him that he is the most important thing to her. Not power, not vengeance, but him.

And then what does that little creep do? He leaves her to go with Emma! AGAIN!

"Son of a...."

Again! Regina did the right thing...TWICE....in the same location....and the little piss ant goes running off with his other family...AGAIN! Ya know what? I'd blow them all up right then and there. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she went into a chorus of "No Good Deed" from Wicked (admit it, that would be pretty cool). But don't worry, Regina had one more surprise waiting for her that day.

This is as emo as Snow White gets.

A guilt-ridden Snow knocks on Regina's door and begs for death. Which is, frankly, kiiiinda dark for the fairest in the land. Regina refuses, for Henry's sake,but can't resist pulling the ol' Kali-Ma on her nemesis. And when she does, she finds something that makes her grin. Snow White's heart, the purest of them all, is turning black. Like a cancer it will grow until it consumes her, turns her, and destroys her family. Then, Regina notes with fiendish glee, she really can have it all. I absolutely loved the interplay between Snow and Regina. It was perfectly crafted and once again set up the oldest rivalry in the history of fairy tales. Regina retook her place as the Evil Queen, not with some grand act of evil, but with a deep malevolence borne out of the singular hatred she has for the woman who has impeded her happiness for such a long time. She didn't need to destroy Snow White, Snow White would destroy herself.

Meanwhile, resident outpatient and amateur voyeur Greg Mendell has just come from stalking Henry in the woods and is seen filming Regina and Snow's heart to heart (or heart to hand, I should say? Heh, heh. Get it? Heart to...okay I'll stop). As he gets in the car he confirms what we all suspected....he is Owen, all grown up. And it's about time he found his dad!

Who I can only imagine, much to Graham's chagrin, tried again and again to have the sheriff "arrest" him.

The preview was also pretty tantalizing. What is Neal's girlfriend (maybe Tiger Lilly) up to? Why the sly grin? And if anyone had any doubt who the man was in the trailer, let's just say he won't be telling any lies about his whereabouts. It certainly wood make the situation worse.

It's Pinocchio, is what I'm trying to say. We get to see Pinocchio again.

This was a great episode to transition into the home stretch to the season finale. And I'll be right there posting along the way. Stay tuned, dearies!

-Joe