Once Upon A Time Review: "Welcome to Storybrooke"

Welcome back, dearies! It's time to review tonight's episode of Once Upon A Time: "Welcome To Storybrooke"

Now GTFO.

I really liked that we returned to Storybrooke B.C. (before Curse). It gave this episode a very Lost-like feel in the beginning, with a seemingly normal camping trip turning into ground zero for the newly arrived curse. It was also great seeing Regina walk through the town as it stayed stuck in time, something we hadn't seen in effect until now (remember Emma's entry into Storybrooke caused time to start moving forward again). Her delight in torturing Mary Margaret was a nice replay of their dynamic before Emma came to town. And Gold's refusal to admit he remembered everything must have been a fun trick for Rumple to play to pass the time. (I'll try not to mention Ruby's re-skankification). But Regina realized that something was missing in the day to day monotony of a town stuck in an infinite loop.

"If that groundhog shows up I swear to God..."

All she ever wanted was to be loved. She couldn't receive that from her mother, from Snow White, or from the citizens of Fairytale Land. She even had to compel Sheriff Graham to come to her bed night after night after night.

Ladies? ....Alright....and Gents?

But then, father and son duo Kurt and Owen find their way into the newly established town, and everything changes. Regina realizes that all she needs is the one person who could love her unconditionally...a child. Not being the best with the whole, ya know, "emotions" thing, she tries to keep the pair in Storybrooke in order to stay close with Owen. That ("unexpectedly") backfires, and Kurt and Owen try to flee Storybrooke, and Regina's clutches, after Kurt finds Regina talking into Graham's heart. Kurt is taken away, and Owen flees. I tell ya what, though, the scene where he brings the police to the boundary, where they can't see the sign on the other side, and vows to find his dad and Regina is on the other side of the bubble was very touching. Of course, it was then that I was really starting to suspect just who he might turn out to be...

Back in current Storybrooke, Regina is looking to get even with Snow. She wants vengeance, and a spell left by her mother looks to be the key to all of it. A quick intervention by Rumple stalls her, but a showdown is inevitable. Cut to the woods where Henry attempts to destroy magic by throwing dynamite down the well.

"Destroy magic with TNT? Oh you are just precious."

After complaining most of the show (season? series?) about the adults making adult decisions, Henry actually convinces the two sides to stand down. Regina destroys the curse, and it looks like no more blood will be spilled. Regina once again does the right thing in order to maintain her relationship with Henry. She truly shows him that he is the most important thing to her. Not power, not vengeance, but him.

And then what does that little creep do? He leaves her to go with Emma! AGAIN!

"Son of a...."

Again! Regina did the right thing...TWICE....in the same location....and the little piss ant goes running off with his other family...AGAIN! Ya know what? I'd blow them all up right then and there. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she went into a chorus of "No Good Deed" from Wicked (admit it, that would be pretty cool). But don't worry, Regina had one more surprise waiting for her that day.

This is as emo as Snow White gets.

A guilt-ridden Snow knocks on Regina's door and begs for death. Which is, frankly, kiiiinda dark for the fairest in the land. Regina refuses, for Henry's sake,but can't resist pulling the ol' Kali-Ma on her nemesis. And when she does, she finds something that makes her grin. Snow White's heart, the purest of them all, is turning black. Like a cancer it will grow until it consumes her, turns her, and destroys her family. Then, Regina notes with fiendish glee, she really can have it all. I absolutely loved the interplay between Snow and Regina. It was perfectly crafted and once again set up the oldest rivalry in the history of fairy tales. Regina retook her place as the Evil Queen, not with some grand act of evil, but with a deep malevolence borne out of the singular hatred she has for the woman who has impeded her happiness for such a long time. She didn't need to destroy Snow White, Snow White would destroy herself.

Meanwhile, resident outpatient and amateur voyeur Greg Mendell has just come from stalking Henry in the woods and is seen filming Regina and Snow's heart to heart (or heart to hand, I should say? Heh, heh. Get it? Heart to...okay I'll stop). As he gets in the car he confirms what we all suspected....he is Owen, all grown up. And it's about time he found his dad!

Who I can only imagine, much to Graham's chagrin, tried again and again to have the sheriff "arrest" him.

The preview was also pretty tantalizing. What is Neal's girlfriend (maybe Tiger Lilly) up to? Why the sly grin? And if anyone had any doubt who the man was in the trailer, let's just say he won't be telling any lies about his whereabouts. It certainly wood make the situation worse.

It's Pinocchio, is what I'm trying to say. We get to see Pinocchio again.

This was a great episode to transition into the home stretch to the season finale. And I'll be right there posting along the way. Stay tuned, dearies!

-Joe