Once Upon A Time Recap: And Straight on 'Til Morning

Well dearies, we've made it to the season finale! From the aftermath of the broken Curse and an adventure in the Land that Was, to the threat of a new and powerful evil, to the reuniting of family and a plot to destroy Storybrooke, we've been through a lot! So let's get to it:

The episode begins with a loving Grandpa watching his Grandson play on a swing. Except it's Rumplestiltskin, and he's trying to kill the threat to his existence. As he begins to fray the ropes of Henry's swing, causing him to fly into some pointy-looking rocks (seriously, who designed this playground?), Emma, Charming, and Snow rush to tell him the news about Baelfire. They also tell him about that Greg and Tamara have the trigger, and he must help stop them. Gold refuses, distraught over losing his son again. Meanwhile, Greg and Tamara take Hook down to the mines and, with a dwarf's pick-axe, strike the trigger to the fail-safe and set in motion the end of Storybrooke, literally wiping it off the map. The forest on which it appeared begins to take back the land as trees jut out of the ground and the earth begins to shake.

"Time to run, then? Yep...let's run..."

The Family Charming, including Regina, are at the apartment when Hook shows up to tell them the news. But not everyone will share in Storybrooke's fate. Because Henry was born here, he will remain here....alone. It is decided that they will take a two-pronged approach: Regina will try to stop the trigger, and Hook and Charming will go after Greg and Tamara in order to get some magic beans as a means to escape destruction. The dashing duo manage to succeed in obtaining a bean, but the Muggle Patrol manage to slip away yet again.

Anyone else see a buddy cop spin-off coming out of this? 

Meanwhile, knowing that their doom is imminent, the dwarves raid Gold's shop in order to find a potion to restore Sneezy's memory so that he can at least die as himself. When they finally are able to get a batch, they offer some extra to Mr. Gold, who restores Belle's memory so that, in their last moments, they can be together. Even knowing that Belle would eventually get her memory back, hearing Gold say "I didn't want to wake you up to die..." just tugged at all of my heart strings.

In Neverland, Hook discovers that the boy brought on board his ship is actually Rumplestiltskin's son, and decides to use him to enact his revenge. When the Lost Ones (a very dark take on Peter Pan's band of misfits) board the ship demanding the boy that the Shadow has great need of, Hook will not give Baelfire up (even under threat of having his shadow ripped out...ouch). After they leave, Baelfire tries to kill Hook, having found a picture of his mother on Hook's desk (proving even then that you need to delete your search history and not leave things open on your desk). Hook tries to tell Bae about what really happened, that he and his mother fell in love...and that his father killed her. Hook offer Bae the opportunity to stay with him and his crew, as a way to make it up to Mila, but the Son of Stiltskin refuses. It is then that he is captured by the Lost Ones. I have to say, not calling them "boys" makes them truly seem like lost souls in the service of a dark, great evil. And it definitely makes them more threatening. 

Back in the tunnels, things are not going so well. Regina does not have the power to stop the trigger from detonating. When Emma goes to pull out the bean, hoping to send the failsafe into oblivion (or at least a dimension in which it can do no harm), she discovers that Hook has absconded with their only hope at survival. No bean, assured destruction, and no way to stop it.....well, it looks like it's sayonara, Storybrooke.

"Not one of my better backup plans..."

Emma is hesitant to leave Regina, but her arch-rival pleads with her. She has been known for so long as the Evil Queen, she just wants to die as Regina. Henry realizes that there's good left in his mom and finally (oh, finally!) he goes over and hugs her. It's then that Emma realizes that she might be able to help. Nubile as she is in the magical arts, she has seen for herself that she has the potential to be quite powerful. And so, together, in the best Mother's Day salute ever, Emma and Regina combine their strengths and defuse the bomb. They are blown back a bit, but a few scrapes serve as confirmation that they are, indeed alive. Yes: Prince Charming, Snow White, their daughter, and even the Evil Queen are all okay. And Henry...Henry? Ahhhh, crap.

Greg and Tamara, seizing upon the distraction caused by the trigger, abduct Henry and bring him back to the docks. As all the main cast members rush to save him, the two villains prove "like father, like son" as they drop a magic bean into the water and jump, arm in arm with their captive, into the portal. Since it is pretty much impossible to cross worlds without one, they must come to terms with the fact they they will never see Henry again. But, ahoy mateys! Captain Hook has a change of heart and sails back into port, magic bean in hand! Mr. Gold knows that, indeed, the boy will be his undoing, but he must find him to honor Baelfire. He bids Belle farewell, and together, the most unlikely family sets off for Neverland.

Neverland....as in "never gonna go to that land"

As the waves crash on a distant shore, we come across a man in bad shape. Clinging to life, Baelfire is discovered by none other than Princess Aurora and (ugh) Mulan. But he is worlds apart from where he needs to be in order to protect his son. Because Peter Pan never wanted him....he was after Henry.

Well, then! I have to admit I was a little underwhelmed when I watched it last night, but going over it again really made me appreciate the subtleties of the episode and how it sets up an exciting Season 3. 

Til' then, dearies!

- Joe

Once Upon A Time Recap: The Evil Queen

"Are people born Wicked?" said some witch in another show, "Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" That was the theme of tonight's episode: The Evil Queen. (Uh, uh, uh! Not so fast dearies. If ye wish not to be spoiled, go no further!)

Let's begin in The Land That Was. Regina is on the hunt for Snow White, and nothing is going to stop her. She massacres an entire village because they will not give up the princess' location. When a disguised Regina returns to the site with Snow, it is deeply unsettling, and a very dark moment for this show, to see the bodies strewn on the ground, lifeless and with Wanted posters arrowed to their backs

What Regina can't wrap her mind around is how the people can be so loyal to Snow White when she is their Queen. She enlists the help of Rumplestiltskin (always a wise choice) so that she can disguise herself and go among the people. Perhaps then she will learn more about her arch-enemy's whereabouts. She is warned, though, that she will not be able to use magic or transform back without his help (which, of course, he doe not provide). When she enters a village that has strewn up an effigy of the Queen, she tries to stop them, only to be mistaken for the culprit by her own guards. She is saved, to the delight of the irony gods, by the woman she has been hunting. Snow dispatches the guards, rescues Regina, and takes her to hide in the woods where she nurses her back to health.

"Oh dear God just kill me now."

Snow tells the injured girl about the time she almost fell off a horse, and a woman saved her. As they walk through the forest, Snow White tells the "peasant girl" that she believes there is still good in Regina. Regina takes this to heart, and wonders aloud if "The Queen" were to repent and ask forgiveness, if Snow would grant it, or kill her. Snow shows the truest kindness and compassion and says that she would. That is, until they find the bodies. In a very un-Luke Skywalker-like speech, Snow realizes and declares that there's no possible hope for Regina's redemption. She is evil through and through. The cloaked Regina accidentally reveals her true self by asking about the horse incident, although in Snow's telling she never said it was Regina. Snow readies her arrow, and a powerless Regina flees. Ever the fairest, Snow lets her go.

Back in Storybrooke, Regina is planning to activate the failsafe for the Curse, one that would destroy Storybrooke and everyone in it. Using the last remaining magic bean (oh, yeah, she burned the rest of the crop), she will escape with her son back to the Land That Was and make him love her once more. Oddly, she tells Henry about her foolproof plot, only to erase his memory moments later.

"I can soooo relate."

Meanwhile, Emma bumps into Tamara at Granny's and notices something strange when she helps to pick up Tamara's spilled items. She has a list (a big list, with big print...not so stealthy, eh?) of all the names of Storybrooke's residents and their true identities. Emma begins to think that Tamara is the "She" that August was trying to warn them about before he re-youthified.

"Hi, I'll have a cup of coffee, milk, two sugars...oh, and the heads of everyone in town."

 And so, Emma and Henry renew their covert partnership, renamed Operation Praying Mantis (...oy), in order to find out exactly what she's up to. A botched reconnaissance mission at Neal's apartment leads them to a dead end. But Emma's lie detection powers are not mistaken. Tamara and Greg are up to something, and they need a helping hand in their scheme. Well...helping hook, that is.

Get it?

Regina, trying to enact her own plot, also teams up with Hook, who seems to earnestly want to renew the partnership he had with Cora. Regina leads hook to the Library and down the elevator where she recovers the failsafe. But, she needs a distraction, because a certain dragon-moprhing witch is not as dead as we thought she was.

I actually loved this idea. It shows a particularly cruel side to Regina that she would keep her most hated frenemy preserved so that she could guard Regina's most sacred treasures. First as a dragon, then as a skeleton-ghost thing. This version of Maleficent was particularly shiver-inducing. But, Hook does manage to escape, with the help of his newfound friends, Tamara and Greg. It appears that they have a bit more experience dealing with magic than we originally thought. Using the power of science, they effectively stunted Regina's powers and put one check on their list of names. They are truly coming into their own as the new villains of Season 2. I predict that they will learn about Regina's failsafe and endeavor to use it to bring about the end of magic....and the destruction of Storybooke.

That would certainly be quite a hook...ah ha..get it? A..hook....Okay I'll stop.

Overall, I think this idea of a misunderstood Regina has been played out. It worked well in the first third of the season, when she was trying to do right by Henry, and a new twist was thrown in when Cora arrived in Storybrooke, but now it's a bit tired. She needs to commit to either being good (although not necessarily accepted by the townspeople), or truly embrace the dark side. Frankly, I would like to see an anti-hero in Regina, especially up against an all-powerful Rumplestiltskin. She doesn't need to be a good guy, but she should stop playing the victim. That said, I really enjoyed seeing Regina and Rumple play off each other in this episode. Each time we see them together she is either the eager student, the defiant former pupil, or the ardent rival. But, as always, the imp seems to always have the upper hand. I also really enjoyed seeing Tamara and Greg's characters develop into a much more sinister duo than we previously thought. I am extremely eager to see how their roles play out as we enter the home stretch to the finale.

Til' next time, dearies!

- Joe

Your Linc at Lunch: LucasArts and Dark Horse Updates, Learn Gallifreyan and Doctor Who PSAs, and Disney Princesses in Star Wars

Happy Friday, all! I hope as you chow down on your salads and shish-kabob and whatever that thing is Johnson brought from home (tunafish and ham on a muffin, maybe?), that I might offer some geeky bits to chew on.

1. Kotaku Delves into LucasArts Final Months and EW Got Dark Horse All Wrong

This week, Kotaku went into amazing depth about the shutdown of LucasArts. They talk to various sources regarding the stages of the shutdown and the moods of employees (hint: not great) as this was all happening. Most surprisingly, is that they were able to obtain footage of what was to become Battlefront III. Unfortunately I can't embed it here, but you can check it out in the article. I've been trying not to get too down on Disney for making a business decision, but seeing all the vehicles and action that may never be is definitely tough.

Apparently Battlefront III is being guarded by top men.....top men.

And it looks like Dark Horse Comics editor Randy Strandler is none too pleased with the article that Entertainment Weekly published on its website this week. On the Dark Horse message boards Randy wrote the following:

"Kinda pissed off right now. No, that's not true. I am furious at the Entertainment Weekly interviewer. Not only did he not run the interview by us as he agreed to, and not only is the story weeks late in going live, but now that it has, I can see it is full of inaccuracies, misquotes, misattributions, and backhanded assumptions."

You can see the full thread here, including more from Randy on "The Star Wars" comic.

2. Doctor Who PSAs ... And You Can Translate Them Into Gallifreyan!

The funny minds over at College Humor have created a number of familiar-looking PSAs for that must exist in the Doctor Who universe. Hit the link for all of them, but here are some of my absolute favorites:

It's going to be okay....really.

Because your predecessor chose to Regenerate.

Rose Did A Lot Better Than Carol.

Contact Your Local Authorities...If You Can Remember.

Yeah, I'm not even going to be able to sleep now.

And if you want to translate all those PSAs in to Gallifryean, the circular language of the Time Lords, Loren Sherman (BlackHatGuy on DeviantArt) has created an amazing tutorial and translator. It's a little more complicated than it looks, but a lot of fun!

3. Some Day My Sith Will Come: Disney Princesses as Jedi and Sith

Proving that good things can and will come of the Dinsey/Star Wars merger, Illustrator Ralph Sevelius has produced some stunning pieces of Snow White, Ariel, and Rapunzel wielding lightsabers and generally looking pretty badass. I hope there are more in this series in the future. 

Don't want to get that tangled in a curling iron!

"Your lightsabers will make a fine addition to my collection."

This is what Snow is turning into in Once Upon A Time (I hope!)

That's all for now! So swallow that sandwich, get back to work, and get ready for the weekend!

Allons-y!

Joe

Once Upon A Time Review: "Welcome to Storybrooke"

Welcome back, dearies! It's time to review tonight's episode of Once Upon A Time: "Welcome To Storybrooke"

Now GTFO.

I really liked that we returned to Storybrooke B.C. (before Curse). It gave this episode a very Lost-like feel in the beginning, with a seemingly normal camping trip turning into ground zero for the newly arrived curse. It was also great seeing Regina walk through the town as it stayed stuck in time, something we hadn't seen in effect until now (remember Emma's entry into Storybrooke caused time to start moving forward again). Her delight in torturing Mary Margaret was a nice replay of their dynamic before Emma came to town. And Gold's refusal to admit he remembered everything must have been a fun trick for Rumple to play to pass the time. (I'll try not to mention Ruby's re-skankification). But Regina realized that something was missing in the day to day monotony of a town stuck in an infinite loop.

"If that groundhog shows up I swear to God..."

All she ever wanted was to be loved. She couldn't receive that from her mother, from Snow White, or from the citizens of Fairytale Land. She even had to compel Sheriff Graham to come to her bed night after night after night.

Ladies? ....Alright....and Gents?

But then, father and son duo Kurt and Owen find their way into the newly established town, and everything changes. Regina realizes that all she needs is the one person who could love her unconditionally...a child. Not being the best with the whole, ya know, "emotions" thing, she tries to keep the pair in Storybrooke in order to stay close with Owen. That ("unexpectedly") backfires, and Kurt and Owen try to flee Storybrooke, and Regina's clutches, after Kurt finds Regina talking into Graham's heart. Kurt is taken away, and Owen flees. I tell ya what, though, the scene where he brings the police to the boundary, where they can't see the sign on the other side, and vows to find his dad and Regina is on the other side of the bubble was very touching. Of course, it was then that I was really starting to suspect just who he might turn out to be...

Back in current Storybrooke, Regina is looking to get even with Snow. She wants vengeance, and a spell left by her mother looks to be the key to all of it. A quick intervention by Rumple stalls her, but a showdown is inevitable. Cut to the woods where Henry attempts to destroy magic by throwing dynamite down the well.

"Destroy magic with TNT? Oh you are just precious."

After complaining most of the show (season? series?) about the adults making adult decisions, Henry actually convinces the two sides to stand down. Regina destroys the curse, and it looks like no more blood will be spilled. Regina once again does the right thing in order to maintain her relationship with Henry. She truly shows him that he is the most important thing to her. Not power, not vengeance, but him.

And then what does that little creep do? He leaves her to go with Emma! AGAIN!

"Son of a...."

Again! Regina did the right thing...TWICE....in the same location....and the little piss ant goes running off with his other family...AGAIN! Ya know what? I'd blow them all up right then and there. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if she went into a chorus of "No Good Deed" from Wicked (admit it, that would be pretty cool). But don't worry, Regina had one more surprise waiting for her that day.

This is as emo as Snow White gets.

A guilt-ridden Snow knocks on Regina's door and begs for death. Which is, frankly, kiiiinda dark for the fairest in the land. Regina refuses, for Henry's sake,but can't resist pulling the ol' Kali-Ma on her nemesis. And when she does, she finds something that makes her grin. Snow White's heart, the purest of them all, is turning black. Like a cancer it will grow until it consumes her, turns her, and destroys her family. Then, Regina notes with fiendish glee, she really can have it all. I absolutely loved the interplay between Snow and Regina. It was perfectly crafted and once again set up the oldest rivalry in the history of fairy tales. Regina retook her place as the Evil Queen, not with some grand act of evil, but with a deep malevolence borne out of the singular hatred she has for the woman who has impeded her happiness for such a long time. She didn't need to destroy Snow White, Snow White would destroy herself.

Meanwhile, resident outpatient and amateur voyeur Greg Mendell has just come from stalking Henry in the woods and is seen filming Regina and Snow's heart to heart (or heart to hand, I should say? Heh, heh. Get it? Heart to...okay I'll stop). As he gets in the car he confirms what we all suspected....he is Owen, all grown up. And it's about time he found his dad!

Who I can only imagine, much to Graham's chagrin, tried again and again to have the sheriff "arrest" him.

The preview was also pretty tantalizing. What is Neal's girlfriend (maybe Tiger Lilly) up to? Why the sly grin? And if anyone had any doubt who the man was in the trailer, let's just say he won't be telling any lies about his whereabouts. It certainly wood make the situation worse.

It's Pinocchio, is what I'm trying to say. We get to see Pinocchio again.

This was a great episode to transition into the home stretch to the season finale. And I'll be right there posting along the way. Stay tuned, dearies!

-Joe

Once Upon A Time: The Miller's Daughter Recap

Best...episode...of the season! This recap is very close to just being the word "wow" over and over again! It was so good I half expect them to go on another four week break! The writers really turned what was becoming a predictable storyline on its head, spun it around, then punted it over the fence. Tons of misdirection and suspense, as well as a few revelations, and some of the best acting of the series made this one fantastic episode.

Warning! Unless you're Rumplestiltskin and can see the future, you might want to avoid the rest of the recap. There be spoilers!

Power versus love has been a theme of the show since its inception. We've seen each character make that choice over and over again, but never has it been so on display as this episode. When it came to Cora, the choice was clear. In order to prevent the humiliation she endured at the hands of Snow's mother, she would make everyone bow to her whim. And nothing, not even true love, would stand in her way.

She could be the queen of my heart any day!

Young Cora was sublimely played by Rose McGowan. Unlike Regina, Cora never seemed to be a perfectly innocent youth who was corrupted after a devastating loss. Rather, she knew her place in the world, hated those who kept her there, and wanted nothing more than to see them suffer. But she couldn't do it alone. She needed help from someone with the power to make her darkest desires come true.

You rang, dearie?

What followed was probably one of the most deliciously evil pairings of the entire show. Rumple and Cora's romance was a match made in...well...not heaven. The scene where he teaches her to spin straw into gold using her bloodlust was played with a sensuality not often seen on the show. You could almost feel their evil souls feeding off of each other.

And, of course, I'm sure we all took in a collective gasp when Rumple amended their contract so that Cora wouldn't give him just any old first born...it would be their child! Something fans had long suspected was unfolding right before our eyes! Could Regina actually be Rumplestilskin's daughter??!!

The answer was...shockingly!....amazingly!....incredibly!..............NO!

"So here's the deal. I help you spin straw into gold, and you help me make the audience's head spin."

Cora, after ripping out her own heart (a fan hunch finally confirmed!), once again chose power over love. She had used the King for the throne, and she had used Rumple for his power. I have to say that I'm glad Regina isn't his daughter, the family tree was getting a little too twisted. It was a bold direction for the writers to take. And so, the ramifications of Cora's act would reverberate several years later, in a land far away from their own.

Back in Storybrooke, it was cool to see a dying Rumple act like a general preparing for war. Even as the poison raced to his heart, he was able to set up the defenses in his shop. Ever the teacher, he showed Emma how to properly use the magic within her, something that I'm sure will come into play as the season draws to a close. And, ever the trickster, he convinced Snow White to do something she swore she'd never do.

Watch "Red Widow"?

Ginnifer Goodwin, I think, was at her absolute best as she convinced Regina to take her mother's heart and put it back into her body. She displayed a coldness and wicked cleverness that we hadn't seen in Mary Margaret before. Again, it was another fantastic twist by the writers. I mean, it's Snow White right? She wouldn't do anything this cold-hearted? Right? She didn't even do it to save her own mother so surely she wouldn't cut Cora down to save Mr. Gold? Right??!!

And then she lit the candle, held it over the heart, and whispered the name....Cora.

"Hm...did I leave the stove on?...or....ya know, my heart unprotected?"

And in that moment the Snow we knew was gone. While she tried to prevent Regina from doing her bidding, it was too late. She had been corrupted just as Cora had planned, tricked into committing the darkest of magic by the Dark One. How this will affect her and her family going forward remains to be seen.

One thing's for sure, Regina has one hell of a reason to hate her now. She finally got the mother she always wanted, only to have been deceived into killing her. And so The Evil Queen is back and badder than ever!

Before I conclude, can we just go head and start the petition for Robert Carlyle to win every award next season? His portrayal, both as Rumplestiltskin and Mr. Gold in this episode, was absolutely incredible. As Rumple, he was every bit the devilish imp we were introduced to in the pilot. All grins and high-lilting laughs covering up an malevolence and desire to do the most evil. As Gold, we saw a man who had come to terms with the choices he had made, and wanted to make things right. His phone call to Belle was heart breaking, and his final moments with Baelfire were very touching. There was a moment where I really thought he was going to die before Cora could kill him, thus releasing the power of the Dark One forever. I grew more and more nervous with each letter that disappeared from the dagger. 

Even sadder, I think, was to see him realize that Cora truly loved him, only to have her die in front of him due to his own machinations.

"I'm so happy. Good thing matters of love always work out for me!"

Well, dearies, this was really my favorite episode of the season and I cannot wait to see how it all plays out! What did you think? What can possibly happen next now that the story we thought we knew has been chucked out?

Til' next time!

-Joe

A Linc to Magic: Joe's Once Upon A Time Recap: "The Queen is Dead"

Well, dearies, it's time for what is sure to be a signature section of this blog. Let's not waste any time diving into this gasp-inducing, story-changing, plot-hinting episode! (Warning: There Be Spoilers!)

Let's talk about where this episode leaves us and work our way back. Regina and Cora now have Rumple's dagger, and thus the ability to control him once he returns to Storybrooke. The aforementioned Dark One is slowly dying via a poison hook through the heart and must be spirited away to Storybrooke in order to heal. Now, can anyone else see why this might present a problem?

If you said "Traffic on I-95", you'd be wrong. 

But before we leave "New York City" (because, seriously, who are they trying to fool?) we learn that Neal/Baelfire has a history with the good Captain Hook that doesn't appear too friendly. We also learn that when he was sucked through the portal as a boy he landed somewhere else first...somewhere that kept him young for centuries. Now, followers of mine on Facebook have heard me swear up and down that the mysterious man in the hospital is the Pan...but I'm going to have to renege on that one. Especially considering that Rumple is Hook's "crocodile", it makes perfect sense that his son would be the bane of Hook's existence in Neverland. Well played, Kitsiss and Horowitz.

Sense, brought to you by the writers of LOST.

And his fiance? Yeah. I'm going to bet that's Tiger Lily.

I've got to say that Cora's evil was on full display this episode. Her greed and lust for power makes her a far superior villain to her misunderstood daughter. Whereas Regina acted out of revenge and a broken heart (and eventually genuine love for Henry), Cora only cares about consolidating her rule. Cora makes everyone her pawn. She is very craftily moving the citizens of Storybrooke into just the position she wants them. And, like any good villain, she has been playing the long game, working behind the scenes to manipulate events according to her design.

"Once more the Witch will rule the Fantasy..."

The hunt for Rumple's dagger was a cool game of misdirection. I love that the clocktower is still playing a central role in the story (also, has no one bothered to clean up Malifecent yet?). Hiding the dagger on the clockface itself was very "National Treasure". The confrontation between Charming/Snow and Cora/Regina was a classic good guy/bad guy standoff. It reminded me vaguely of when Rita and Lord Zedd would appear in front of the Power Rangers....you knew stuff was about to go down!

And go down it did! Or...she did....poor Johanna.

Back in the Land that Was, I thought Bailee Madison as Young Snow was terrific yet again (kudos to the casting director on that one!) She's getting a little older now, though, so they better hurry up if they're going to do more storylines with her. Cora standing over the Queen's lifeless body reminded me a lot of Voldemort  hovering over Dumbledore's in triumph, or, more aptly, Palpatine at Qui-Gon's funeral at the end of The Phantom Menace. An initial victory heralding all the evil wins that were to come.

"Fear not, my love. These writers couldn't kill off a character forever if they used that meteor that fell on Russia."

And so the stage is once again set for a dynamic showdown. It seems like everyone has something to lose going into the finale in a few weeks. And just who is that mystery dude in the hospital if he's not Peter Pan? Feel free to sound off in the comment below.

Stay tuned, dearies!

-Joe