Once Upon A Time Recap: "Selfless, Brave, and True"

Ah, nothing like coming back from a nice relaxing weekend to do a bit of blogging. And nothing says "The Missing Linc" more than a OUAT recap! So let's get into this week's episode: "Selfless, Brave, and True". As always, if you don't want to be spoiled like last month's bananas, you might want to avoid this post for the time being.

It seems that, according to Kitsiss and Horowitz, there's nothing like quite Phuket to run away to whilst having an existential crisis. I'm sure there's a deleted scene where August runs into Jack Shephard.

That's Chinese for "I'm Turning Into Wood"

At 8:15 am (that's 8:15 pm Storybrooke time, when Emma first enters town and time starts to move forward again) August wakes up to discover that his leg has turned back to wood. Still not quite the hero we see him become at the end of Season 1, he tries to find a way to heal himself and is led to a man known as the Dragon. But someone else is waiting for him. It looks like Neal's fiance`, Tamara, has a past that she hasn't shared with her future husband.

"Well if you think THIS is a wild story..."

Tamara, on a mission to find magic in this world, has tracked August and tricked him into getting a vial full of magic from the Dragon. The all-knowing, mysterious healer is fully aware of who Pinocchio is and where he comes from, but Tamara kills the Dragon (with a taser that I'm guessing was set to "Sith Lighting") before we find out more about him.

Is it at all wrong that I immediately thought "Mushu from Mulan"?

After a harrowing chase through the streets of Hong Kong, Tamara absconds with the vial, leaving August to further suffer the affects of being turned back into wood. However, she's not done with him yet. Following August to New York, she discovers that there is a town called Storybrooke, and that yet another man hails from the land of magic. Using the old "oops, clumsy me!" routine, she bumps into Neal and starts a relationship with him, biding her time until she can get her hands on an entire town's worth of magic.

And that brings the Stiltskin Family Love Success Rate to.....0%.

Back in Storybrooke, Snow White needs to clear her head and goes out to shoot some arrows, one of which finds its way directly into Pinocchio's leg. He cannot face the shame of returning to Storybrooke in his wooden state, despite Snow's insistence that there are people there who care about him. A visit from Tamara, who promises him a bit of healing potion in return for his exile, causes August to turn tail and run, until he discovers that she has been lying. Before he can warn his friends, Tamara once again sets her taser to 11 and fries August to a crisp (if you listen carefully, you can hear him whimper "Don't tase me, bro!"). But fear not, August fans! Because his last act was to attempt to warn Emma and Co., he was deemed selfless, brave, and true by the Blue Fairy and turned back into a hunky, dreamy....

....Oh. Never mind.

Unable to remember what he was going to tell them, Pinocchio walks off with Geppetto and the Blue Fairy, ready to give being a good little boy one more try. Meanwhile, Greg Mendell, aka Owen, has just had an encounter with Regina who warns him not to continue his search for his father. At the end of the episode, he receives a knock at the door. And the person on the other side is none other than: HER!

Behold: HER!

So, it aaall comes out! Tamara is in league with Owen, but what are their true intentions? Are they simply out to find his father? To gain access to magic? Or maybe they're just working together to accomplish their respective goals. It looks like the biggest threat to Storybrooke didn't come from Cora, but will instead come from our world. As we enter the home stretch to the finale, we'll find out more about their true plans in just....wait....what?.... THREE WEEKS?!

"Son of a..."

'Til then, dearies!

-Joe